A man began to give large doses of cod-liver oil to his Doberman because he had been told that the stuff was good for dogs. Each day he would hold the head of the protesting dog between his knees, force its jaws open, and pour the liquid down its throat. One day the dog broke…
The devotee knelt to be initiated into discipleship. The guru whispered the sacred mantra into his ear, warning him not to reveal it to anyone. What will happen if I do? asked the devotee. Said the guru, Anyone you reveal the mantra to will be liberated from the bondage of ignorance and suffering, but you…
A visitor to an insane asylum found one of the inmates rocking back and forth in a chair cooing repeatedly in a soft, contented manner, Lulu, Lulu… What’s this man’s problem? he asked the doctor. Lulu. She was a woman who jilted him, was the doctor’s reply. As they proceeded on the tour, they came…
The guru sat in meditation on the riverbank when a disciple bent down to place two enormous pearls at his feet, a token of reverence and devotion. The guru opened his eyes, lifted one of the pearls, and held it so carelessly that it slipped out of his hand and rolled down the bank into…
A monkey and a hyena were walking through the forest when he hyena said, “Each time I pass by those bushes there, a lion jumps out of them and mauls me. I don’t know why.” “I’ll walk with you this time,” said the monkey, “and side with you against the lion.” So they started to…
The great Buddhist saint Nagarjuna moved around naked except for a loincloth and, incongruously, a golden begging bowl gifted to him by the King, who was his disciple. One night he was about to lie down to sleep among the ruins of an ancient monastery when he noticed a thief lurking behind one of the…
True philosopher that he as, Socrates believed that the wise person would instinctively lead a frugal life. He himself would not even wear shoes; yet he fell under the spell of the marketplace and would go there often to look at all the wares on display. When one of his friends asked why, Socrates said:…
A villager was once riding past a cave in a mountain at the precise moment when it made one of its rare magical appearances to all who wished to enrich themselves from its treasures. He marched into the cave and found whole mountains of jewels and precious stones that he hurriedly stuffed into the saddlebags…
Two jewel merchants arrived at a caravanserai in the desert at about the same time one night. Each was quite conscious of the other’s presence, and while unloading his camel, one of them could not resist the temptation to let a large pearl fall to the ground as if by accident. It rolled in the…
A priest walked into a pub, indignant to find so many of his parishioners there. He rounded them up and shepherded them into the church. The he solemnly said, “All those who want to go to heaven, step over here to the left.” Everyone stepped over except one man, who stubbornly stood his ground. The…
