Godwill
I’ve known God’s love through its many manifestations: my husband, the myriad of other Souls who came and went in my life, even my cats. But it was never enough. I wanted to know God, up close and personal. Metaphorically-speaking, I’d shake my fists at the sky and cry for God-Realization. After one prolonged period of trying every technique I knew, I was given the following experience as I slept.
I awoke in the dream as Cencea. I was sitting in a tavern of huge proportions, the size being a sure sign that I was no longer in the physical world. Engaged in a lively philosophical debate, I huddled with three friends at the end of a long, roughly-hewn wood table.
The dream had my attention right away. One of my most favorite things to do in the waking world is to sit around with friends and talk the good God stuff while eating things like pasta and bits of bread dipped in seasoned olive oil.
The dream fare was a little different than that. Various bowls and eating utensils were scattered in front of us, the remains of our late evening supper. A creamy-colored ceramic bowl held hardened chunks of stonebread. I knew it to be sweet and soft and sensuous when freshly baked, but stone-like when left beyond the time it takes to consume a meal — hence its name. A slice of green pianti cheese, the edges petrifying with each passing moment, lay abandoned on a clay platter. A purplish fruit had stained, if only slightly, our lips and fingertips.
Once the sights had become familiar, I settled deeper into the dream and tuned into the sound.
Mica, moistening his finger and collecting stray bits of bread off the table with a stabbing motion, spoke in an impassioned whisper. Finding the way to G-G-God, s-s-seeing the face of God, merging with God….I am being made m-mad with God fever. His pupils were black circles with no visible iris. Have we t-t-tried every m-m-method? Every practice? W-w-what do we do next my g-good friends?
In my waking world, I didn’t know who these people were, but obviously in the world of dreams, we were tight, as they say, and plotting a means by which to storm the gates of heaven.
Maybe it’s a matter of worthiness, Bretha offered, nervously fingering her short blond hair. Maybe we’re not worthy, yet.
Toma, usually the quiet one, poured everyone tea from an oddly-shaped blue pot. Then he suddenly rose to his feet, took his cup in both hands and held it upward, arms fully outstretched. Tell us, God, what more do we need to do? he wailed without restraint. What more do we need to be?
I may have been embarrassed by his display in the waking world but in this dream world I didn’t care. I wanted to know God as much as the others did. If it required running naked in the streets, I would have done it. As Cencea, I used hand gestures to encourage Toma to wail louder.
What more, God, what more do you want? he pleaded. He paid no heed to the still-hot tea that sloshed out of his cup and onto his hands. Droplets landed with an exaggerated plopping sound on the wooden table top.
Historically, God has always responded to madmen. I wondered if Toma was mad or merely mocking it up in hopes of tricking God into answering his call. Distracted from my thoughts, I turned and looked in the direction of a tiny voice belonging to a young woman, perhaps only fifteen years of age, who was now sitting at the far end of our table. Bretha, also noticing the girl, hushed our group and asked in a whisper, What did she just say?
The young woman had a perfectly round face, dark hair that fell straight to her shoulders, and the most innocent of light-filled eyes. She repeated her words, a little louder this time, I have had a God-Realization experience.
I looked at my three fellow seekers whose eyes revealed their thoughts: That is simply not possible in one so young, simply not possible. She must be making it up.
Without further invitation from any of us, the girl spoke again. Yes, I have had a God-Realization experience, she said, but I have also learned an important lesson. Meeting God is not nearly so important as being in perfect alignment with the Godwill.
Mica, crumbs forgotten, spoke first. D-did you hear? She said ‘Godwill’ as though it were a s-s-single word. Godwill.
The others nodded and took turns muttering the word to themselves. Godwill. Godwill.
Godwill, I repeated in my turn.
I said the word aloud upon re-entering the waking world. Godwill.
What did you say, sweetie? my semi-conscious husband asked, rolling over on his back. Did the alarm go off?
Not an alarm perhaps, but certainly a wake-up call.
Jo Leonard is a spiritual adventurer. Her passion in life is to share the knowledge she has gathered after a lifetime of searching for God. She has traveled the world presenting consciousness-provoking talks and workshops to other like-minded seekers.
A published author, her writings, both non-fiction and fiction alike, are spiritually insightful and inspiring. Her day jobs have run the gamut from professional actress to conference planner to operating a commercial printing company. Engaging fully in life has been the grist mill of her personal refinement. She currently lives in Occoquan, Virginia with her husband and two Siamese cats.
The Spiritual Moral / Meaning of This Story
This vivid and deeply spiritual story of seeking God-Realization through a dream highlights profound lessons about the nature of divine pursuit, the importance of humility, and the essence of aligning with divine will. The narrative is a rich tapestry of symbols and characters, each representing different aspects of the spiritual journey.
The Pursuit of God-Realization: At the core of the story is the intense desire to know God personally and intimately. The protagonist, Cencea, and her friends are deeply engaged in seeking ways to merge with the divine. This reflects a universal longing for a higher connection and understanding, a quest that many spiritual seekers undertake. The story emphasizes that this longing is a natural part of the human experience, driving us to explore various spiritual practices and disciplines.
Humility and Worthiness: Bretha’s suggestion that perhaps they are not yet worthy touches on the spiritual concept of humility. Often, seekers feel unworthy of divine realization, believing that they must achieve a certain level of purity or spiritual accomplishment. This humility is both a virtue and a hindrance; while it keeps the ego in check, it can also lead to self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. The story suggests that worthiness is not a prerequisite for divine connection; rather, it is the sincere desire and effort that matter.
The Role of Madness in Spiritual Seeking: Toma’s passionate outcry and seemingly mad behavior highlight a recurring theme in spiritual traditions where madness and divine inspiration are closely linked. Historically, many mystics and saints have been perceived as mad due to their intense devotion and unconventional behaviors. The story suggests that genuine spiritual seeking often involves a degree of madness or fervor, pushing beyond societal norms and expectations to reach the divine.
Innocence and Divine Realization: The young woman’s God-Realization experience, despite her youth, challenges the preconceived notions of the older seekers. Her pure, light-filled eyes symbolize innocence and the purity of heart. This reflects the spiritual truth that divine experiences are not bound by age or experience. The story teaches that spiritual realization is accessible to all, regardless of age, and that innocence and purity of heart can lead to profound divine encounters.
Alignment with Divine Will: The young woman’s revelation that meeting God is less important than being in perfect alignment with the “Godwill” is the crux of the story’s spiritual message. This insight shifts the focus from the external pursuit of divine encounters to the internal alignment with divine will. It suggests that true spiritual fulfillment comes from living in harmony with divine purpose, embracing God’s will in every aspect of life. This alignment is not about seeking extraordinary experiences but about integrating divine will into everyday actions and decisions.
The Wake-Up Call: The protagonist’s realization upon waking, marked by the word “Godwill,” serves as a spiritual wake-up call. This moment of clarity signifies the importance of integrating the dream’s lessons into waking life. The story emphasizes that spiritual insights gained in dreams or mystical experiences must be brought into consciousness and lived out in daily life.
Manifestations of Divine Love: The story also touches on the various manifestations of divine love in the protagonist’s life, through her husband, friends, and even pets. These manifestations remind us that divine love is present in many forms and through various relationships. Recognizing and appreciating these manifestations can deepen our connection with the divine.
In essence, this story is a profound exploration of the spiritual journey, highlighting the importance of sincere seeking, humility, innocence, and alignment with divine will. It invites us to look beyond the pursuit of extraordinary spiritual experiences and to focus on living in harmony with the divine in our everyday lives.
Personal Reflection Questions:
Spiritual stories are an opportunity to reflect on your own life. Here are 10 questions you can use to go deeper with the teachings in this story:
- Divine Pursuit: How do you experience the longing for a deeper connection with the divine? What practices or disciplines do you engage in to seek this connection?
- Humility and Worthiness: In what ways do feelings of worthiness or unworthiness affect your spiritual journey? How can you cultivate humility without falling into self-doubt?
- Madness and Devotion: Have you ever felt misunderstood in your spiritual pursuits? How do you balance societal expectations with your intense spiritual longing?
- Innocence and Realization: Reflect on moments of innocence and purity in your life. How have these moments brought you closer to the divine?
- Alignment with Divine Will: What does being in alignment with divine will mean to you? How do you seek to integrate divine purpose into your daily life?
- Wake-Up Calls: Have you ever experienced a spiritual wake-up call? What insights did it bring, and how did you integrate them into your life?
- Manifestations of Divine Love: How do you recognize and appreciate the various manifestations of divine love in your life? What relationships or experiences remind you of divine presence?
- Sincere Seeking: What drives your spiritual seeking? How do you stay motivated and sincere in your quest for divine understanding?
- Living in Harmony: How do you practice living in harmony with the divine will? What challenges do you face in maintaining this harmony?
- Spiritual Insights: How do you bring insights from dreams or mystical experiences into your waking life? What practices help you integrate these insights into your daily actions?
A Poem Based On This Story
Godwill: The Path of Divine Alignment
In dreams I sought the face of God,
In tavern vast, with friends I trod,
Philosophies and bread we shared,
With hearts laid bare, our souls we bared.
Mica, fervent, whispered low,
“To find God’s face, what must we know?”
Bretha, nervous, voiced her doubt,
“Are we worthy, can we find out?”
Toma, silent, then did rise,
With tea in hand and tear-filled eyes,
“Tell us, God, what more to be?
What more to do, to find and see?”
I watched, intrigued, as passion flowed,
Desperate hearts, their yearning showed,
When a voice, so pure and clear,
Spoke words of wisdom, drawing near.
A young girl, with eyes so bright,
Declared her truth, a guiding light,
“God-Realization I have known,
But Godwill’s path is what I’ve sown.”
“Godwill,” she said, a single word,
Resonated, deeply stirred,
“To align with God’s own plan,
In every act, in every span.”
In waking world, I spoke aloud,
“Godwill,” I said, my heart unbowed,
My husband stirred, in half-sleep state,
Not an alarm, but call of fate.
For in that dream, a truth revealed,
A sacred path, my heart was healed,
To seek not just the face of God,
But live each day with Godwill awed.
In every breath, in every deed,
Align with God, fulfill the need,
For in this life, we find our way,
In Godwill’s light, we choose to stay.
So heed this tale, let it inspire,
To seek God’s will, our hearts on fire,
For true divine, not just to meet,
But walk with God in every beat.