"The New Authority" by Guy Finley - Story and Explanation

There was once a traveling reporter who went out and did stories on America, and in this particular instance she was doing a story on the Midwest’s small towns. She was particularly interested in the social structures, how men and women got along, and what happened at these large big dances that would take place in small towns. So she got into town a few days earlier, knowing that people would be coming in from all the surrounding towns and farms, and there would be a fantastic dance.

So the night of the dance comes, and she’s doing the best that she can to be unnoticed, because a good reported doesn’t want people to know she’s doing a story. She’s watching, moving around to different tables and places, and she notices as the evening goes on a certain phenomenon taking place. And here’s what she notices.

She notices that the ladies get together at the end of a dance that they’re often talking about the idiot that asked them to dance. Complaining about this that and the other, others talking about how nobody knows anything. Just making cruel remarks and gossiping about the men and the event.

But she notices the whole night there’s one woman that, even though she’s sitting amongst these woman, she’s not doing anything like that. She has a pleasant demeanor, she has a bright smile on her face, she’s not saying anything negative about anyone for any reason at all.

As the night goes on, the reporter watches this woman with more and more interest. The reporter is thinking to herself, Maybe this is the story I’m looking for. How could one person be so different from all of the others there?

Finally, as the evening is getting near to its wrapup, she decides she needs to talk to this lady so she walks up and introduces herself and who she is and that she’s doing a story. I just want to ask you a couple questions if I can. I’ve noticed this evening that unlike everyone else at this dance, you just seem to be having a good time. Not just that, I haven’t seen you frown, I haven’t seen you say anything denigrating about anybody here, I haven’t heard you complain about the ball. I was just wondering why is it that you’re able to sit here and do what you do?

The young woman looks at her and says, Well it’s really not that complicated.

Please tell me what it is.

First of all, I only dance with the partners I want to dance with.

The reporter looks at her and says, Well what do you mean?

She says, If somebody comes up and I don’t want to dance with them, I don’t say yes.

Well that’s fine. But what if the person pushes the point. What if that man that’s asked you to dance, what if he’s insistent?

The lady says, I just say. I think I’m going to sit this one out.

Guy Finley is the best-selling author of The Secret of Letting Go and more than 30 other books and audio albums that have sold over a million copies in 16 languages worldwide.

In addition, he has presented over 4,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 400 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, NPR, Wisdom Network, and many others.

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What Is the Spiritual Message / Moral of “The New Authority” Story?

The tale offers a profound insight into the power of choice and personal agency in our lives. The young woman’s discernment in choosing her dance partners reflects the spiritual principle of exercising one’s autonomy. It mirrors the importance of setting personal boundaries and honoring one’s instincts, refusing to succumb to social pressures or expectations. Her ability to gracefully decline dances with partners she doesn’t wish to engage with underscores the spiritual significance of embracing our inherent right to choose and assert our preferences.

Moreover, the story highlights the transformative impact of maintaining a positive attitude amidst social dynamics. Amidst a milieu of gossip and complaints, the young woman stands out as a beacon of positivity. Her refusal to partake in negative conversations underscores the spiritual truth of the power of our words and thoughts. It emphasizes the transformative nature of cultivating a positive mindset, showcasing how our inner disposition can shape our experiences and interactions, elevating the energy within social settings.

Additionally, the young woman’s serene demeanor and refusal to engage in denigrating dialogue reflect the spiritual principle of non-reactivity and inner peace. Despite the potential pressure or persistence of others, she remains steadfast in her choices without allowing external influences to sway her disposition. Her calm refusal to dance when she doesn’t feel inclined demonstrates the importance of maintaining inner harmony amidst external circumstances, showcasing the power of inner resilience and self-possession.

Furthermore, her simple yet profound response—”I think I’m going to sit this one out”—encapsulates the essence of assertiveness and self-respect. Her graceful refusal to participate in something she doesn’t resonate with signifies the spiritual principle of honoring oneself. It speaks to the significance of setting boundaries and prioritizing personal comfort and well-being, even in seemingly ordinary social situations. This stance echoes the spiritual truth that authentic empowerment and self-worth stem from honoring our inner truth and asserting our preferences without feeling compelled to comply with external expectations.

In essence, this narrative unfolds as a spiritual lesson on the potency of personal agency, positivity, non-reactivity, and self-respect. It encourages us to navigate life’s social landscapes with mindfulness, honoring our choices, thoughts, and boundaries. Through the young woman’s actions, we are reminded of the transformative power of conscious choice, inner peace, and self-possession, inviting us to embrace our autonomy, maintain positivity, and assert our authenticity in every facet of our lives.

Personal Reflection Questions

Spiritual stories are an opportunity to reflect on your own life. Here are 10 questions you can use to go deeper with the teachings in this story:

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you observed a stark contrast between someone’s demeanor and that of the surrounding crowd? What was your reaction to this observation?
Reflecting on the dynamics of social gatherings, particularly those where individuals from various backgrounds converge, what insights can you draw about human behavior and interaction?
Consider the significance of choice in shaping our experiences. How does the notion of selective participation, as demonstrated by the woman at the dance, influence our engagement with social settings?
Have you ever encountered someone who, like the woman in the story, seemed unaffected by negativity or gossip in a group setting? How did their attitude impact the atmosphere of the gathering?
Reflect on a time when you chose to prioritize your own comfort or well-being in a social context, even if it meant going against the expectations or norms of the situation.
Explore the theme of agency and assertiveness in interpersonal relationships. How do the woman’s actions in declining undesired dance partners resonate with concepts of self-respect and boundary-setting?
Contemplate the role of perception in shaping our experiences. How might our attitudes and behaviors influence how others perceive us, especially in communal settings like the one described in the story?
Consider the implications of the woman’s response, “I think I’m going to sit this one out,” as a form of gentle yet firm boundary-setting. How might practicing similar assertiveness enhance our relationships and overall well-being?
Reflect on the power of simplicity and authenticity in navigating social dynamics. How does the woman’s genuine enjoyment of the dance contrast with the superficiality of gossip and negativity?
Think about the broader implications of the story’s message. How can we apply the lessons learned from the woman’s attitude and actions to cultivate more meaningful connections and experiences in our own lives?