New Year’s Resolutions: The Two Lists – A Spiritual Story

I was fortunate to spend time with an enigmatic man named Robert during a very special period of my life. Robert taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

Now that you are becoming more aware, Robert said, you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don’t lose the momentum you have built.

Like New Year’s resolutions? I asked.

That’s an interesting idea, he smirked. Let’s do that.

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

Tonight’s assignment is to make two lists, Robert continued. The first is a list of all the New Year’s resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year’s resolutions you WILL keep. Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper.

That night I went home and spent several hours working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn’t gotten in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life. The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next day, I met Robert in front of the local food Co-op, where we seemed to have most of our enlightening conversations. Tell me about your two lists, Robert said as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. And the second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead.

Let me see the second list, he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby garbage can. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but after I calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light. In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

And now, the first list. Robert bowed his head and held out both of his hands.

I purposefully handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the can without looking at it.

What did you do that for?! I couldn’t hide my anger any longer.

Robert began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do.

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:

Love.

This spiritual story was written by Scott Blum, co-founder of DailyOm.com. You can visit his website to read more stories about his interactions with Robert.

What Is the Spiritual Message & Moral of “New Year’s Resolutions: The Two Lists” Story?

The discarded lists spoke volumes—a testament to the transient nature of our desires versus the resolute essence of our calling. Through the act of discarding both lists, Robert heralded a shift in paradigm—a reorientation from the realm of ‘should’ and ‘could’ to the sanctum of ‘must.’

Amidst this revelation, a solitary word emerged: ‘Love.’

The spiritual crux of this tale transcends the pages; it invites us to delve into the sanctum of the soul. ‘Love’ here isn’t a mere sentiment or an emotion to be tethered; it’s an immutable force, a pulsating thread that weaves the cosmic fabric.

In essence, ‘Love’ becomes the fulcrum—the nucleus around which our existence orbits. It’s not confined to romantic notions or platitudes; love is a transcendental force that permeates every facet of being. It beckons us not to dwell solely on aspirations but to illuminate our path with its radiant glow.

The significance lies not in the discarded lists or the act of casting aside aspirations; it resides in the awakening—a call to align our lives with the resonance of ‘Love.’ It beseeches us to integrate ‘Love’ into our aspirations, our relationships, and our endeavors.

To live by the mandate of ‘Love’ is to embark on a spiritual pilgrimage—a quest to fuse aspirations with purpose, actions with the effervescence of this divine energy. It’s an invitation to infuse every intention, every action, every thought with the essence of ‘Love.’

Therefore, as this story echoes within, let it serve as a lantern guiding us toward self-discovery. Seek not just resolutions but resonance with the ‘musts’ that reverberate within the core of our being. Let ‘Love’ be the cornerstone, illuminating our journey and infusing every endeavor with its transformative essence.

In embracing ‘Love’ as the focal point of our existence, we unravel the intricacies of our being, unraveling the sacred threads that bind us to the cosmic dance of life itself. For, in the radiance of ‘Love,’ we find the sanctum where our deepest aspirations converge with the cosmic symphony of existence.

Reflection Questions

Spiritual stories are an opportunity to reflect on your own life. Here are 10 questions you can use to go deeper with the teachings in this story:

1. What “shoulds” and “coulds” dominate your thinking, and how might they limit your authenticity?
2. Reflect on a time when you felt truly aligned with what you “must” do. What made that moment unique?
3. How does love currently show up in your life as an intention, action, or guiding principle?
4. What fears or doubts keep you from surrendering to the unknown?
5. If you wrote a “must” list for your life, what would be the first item on it, and why?
6. How do societal expectations shape your goals, and what steps can you take to break free?
7. Think of a person who embodies love in action. What lessons can you learn from their example?
8. In what ways can simplifying your life help you focus more on what truly matters?
9. What role have spiritual teachers or mentors played in your journey? How did they challenge you?
10. How can you bring more love into your daily actions, even in the smallest of ways?